Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I won!!!!

Sorry been a while since last update, but all going good.

Did the relay for life and OMG that was an amazing weekend, 24 hours of myself and my crazy team mates going in circles, to say I was in pain the next day was an understatement LOL but I would do it all again, what a great group of friends I have made in the 12WBT this round and others, our team raised over $4000 for cancer council.

Well I bet your all thinking what did I win well, I WON the battle, of my mind ruling my mouth,
I have had 2 weight gains in the last two weeks even though I have been training good, not eating 100% clean but not crap, so off I went to the doctors as not feeling all there either, blood test done and today when I went back she told me my protein was to low this will make you gain weight, (did not know that) but more concerned that my iron levels where very very low, so I have to have a iron infusion next week, this was a shock to me, and when I got home, I could feel my head going to a bad place, not going to list it all here as not going to give it any more notice than it needed, so I sat back and went NO I am not going to do this again, got on to face book 12wbt Perth group and asked if there was a training session on today, got changed and went out in the rain and worked out, NO food Not any was eating due to being upset and after I got home I felt better, and proud that I had WON today, so next time I can think of that and know I can do it again.
Weigh In today seen me lose 2kg, which is great as was most of what I had gained over last 2 weeks still 300g to go back at least not another gain, and now I can work on increasing my protein to help fix this fingers crossed. Today was 80.0 so almost back in the 70s

I also brought my dress for Melbourne finally party, an amazing teal ball gown, in wait for it.... a size 12 even after the shop lady told me this one is a small fit and only have this one left, well I got it on with out undoing the zip (only cause I didn't see it till later LOL ) I walked out and hubby just went WOW thats the one you look amazing.

Going to try and go for a good run tomorrow again, still a bit stiff in one of my legs so taking it easy but got to get back into my running for my half marathon as worked out only 14 weeks to go, and so not ready yet, but will get this iron stuff sorted out before I worry to much. But not going to stop trying...LOL

Friday, April 15, 2011

Advanced Tri done and dusted

Well I did it today, a day early as have the relay for life this weekend and after 24hr of that I did not think I would feel up to doing it or worse would not do my tri challenge from 12wbt.
My plan was bike - row - then run as thought this would be the best way to deal with it.

30km bike ride, was proud to say I kept it above 100 rpm the whole way sat around the 28 - 29kmph mark
 time taken was 64mins.
3000 meter row machine took 14.45mins and after notice that the machine was set at 10 top setting so very proud of this time.
then the 8km run.... well thought no prob with this I can run 8km now but what I didn't think of was how stuffed I would be after the first two, got on treadmill, first mistake have not ran on a treadmill for months been doing all my training out side, but off I went, pushing myself at 8km per hour my normal avg speed, well after 2.65km I was dieing, and turned the treadmill off, thinking I cant do this what was I thinking, well after about 30seconds my mind kicked in, you are going to finished this no matter what, even if it takes you 2 hours you can run this you know you can, so turned it back on and put it up to 7km and just ran, got focused and finished it, did not take me 2 but 1.10mins so slower than what I ran last weekend but again that was outside and I had not just done 2 other events before it.

I was so proud of myself, I had completed the advanced Tri, I am only at an intermediate level so really pushed myself today, and it really showed me how far I have come.

I headed home and ran a bath with Epsom salts...LOL but I am still hurting all over.

I just wish the weight would come off quicker,  tonight I just wanted ice cream but no I was strong and said NO to myself.
Still feeling down but not as much as last night.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

10K done, up and down

So its been 2 weeks since my last update, and a bit has happen,

1st good stuff,  I did my next mini milestone, and run the whole 10KM ASCIS Run, another first for me, time was 1:11mins 50sec. So was well under my 1:20 that I was aiming for, which is fantastic and that I ran the whole lot non stop was even better. Even more pleased that on my running program I can see that I kept a very even pace for the whole lot which is just where I want to be for the half Marathon training.

I broke the 80's buffer that I seem to of had and seen 79.3kg on the scales. So was very happy with that also.

BUT..... again the circle of crap, been eating bad and have not worked out since Sundays run, scales today where 80.9kg, I don't know why I keep doing this, granted its slowly moving down each time was not long ago that it was getting stuck on the 84 or 86 mark but, I seem to go down 3 up 1 or down 4 up 2. A friend asked me if I really want it, seeing as I keep doing this, I do but keep getting suck.

I am so much fitter now, we have the triathlon this week on the 12wbt program and I was looking at it thinking I could do the advance level as the intermediate seems to easy, what the hell, how far is that from last time I looked at the tri, a year ago when I was crying just getting the email to do it, saying there is no way I can do that at all.
But I want to see the goal weight on the scales I want to fit into the size 12 clothes with no problems or mmmm will it fit me when I buy it of the rack thoughts. I can fit into a lot of size 12 clothes now but only the bigger size ones, and mostly tops my butt and tummy not there yet, but a lot of that is extra skin to, and that is not going to go away.

We are only 4 weeks away from the Melbourne Party for the 12wbt, and I cant get my head in the right place again, I can do things, Yes, this weekend we are doing the relay for Life for Cancer fundraising, and it will be so much fun and such a great time with the 12wbt girls, but inside I feel like a fake, everyone is so proud of me, and how far I have come. Maybe I cant see it, I just see how far I have not finished it. So close but not there yet again. I could of lost this weight 5 times over in the last year but nope, I stuffed around, and feel back into old habits, not as much be they are still there. That worries me as what happens when I finish am I going to go back to old habits and put it all back on.

I feel lost, I feel deflated, I feel sad.