Sunday, August 29, 2010

City to Surf 2010

Today was a big day for me, for a couple of reasons.

I completed my first ever City to Surf Run
I completed 12km in around 1.30mins times dont come out till tomorrow
but I know it was under 2 so happy with that.

Just over 12 months ago when I lost my first 10kg my reward was some PT seasions
and he challenged me to do the city to surf, I said there was no way I could do that.
But today with a few tears, I did, I did not run the whole thing, but that was not my goal, my goal today was to cross that finish line and remember how far I have come.
The last 3 or so months have been a bit of a waste of time, in the weight loss department, I have lost and gained the same 3 kg, I have removed my surport network and almost given up, eatting things I know I should not be having and not working out.
I have wastied time, trying to work out why I am doing this and what is wrong with me.

Last week I had an AAAARRRRHHHHH moment, there is nothing wrong with me, and as for why who cares, I am sure there is a reason but why wait to find it, I sat and thought for a long time what has changed, what is different and came up with a list of things I had done before that I do not do now. So I sat and thought I AM GOING TO FINISH THIS I am not going to stop and go oh well it just another thing I didnt finish but I got a long way into to it and I look and feel so much better so its ok. Its not ok I have 15 - 18 kg to go to hit my goal I set over a year and a half ago, to get to 70kg (18kg will see me to have lost 50% of my body since starting)

So today I refected on this as I was running and cryed as I crossed the finish line thinking of how far I have come to stop now would be nuts.
This afternoon as I relax here I am working out my meal plans, my training, and my new goals and rewards like I used to do before, I have readded my surport network on facebook, and talked to my family about getting this done and there role in helping me which they are very happy to see me do.

So all in all big day..LOL
Tomorrow 6.30 training with V and back on track, I know I have said this alot in the last few post as I have been trying but my head feel different now, it feels like it did before I went to Sydney and that is a great thing.

Enjoy life and live for enjoyment.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

count down!!!!!

Well this week has been ok, lost another kg.. seen 82.9kg on the scales this morning was happy to see 82's. This week has been a lot better since I stopped betting myself up about what I am not doing and just done what I was doing before.

I have done a bit of running and a couple of classes, but my hip is hurting again.
I think after the City to Surf which is only 16 days away..... arrrhhhhhh I will just give it a big break no running, etc and see how that goes.

Well it is only 3 days till my 40th birthday, I did not hit my goal that I set a year and a half ago, but you know that is fine, because I have not only lost over 53kg but changed the person I was into someone that is living my life, and achiving my dreams. I have changed my mental state and views along the way, so this I think is a part of the weight loss process that you dont think about when you start but with out doing that I know I just would of gone back to where I was. I know now that I will not ever be that person again. My life is not the same as it was before, I am a stronger person, who now knows what to eat and how to work with my body, for the good and the bad, I know what I need to do if I get depressed and how to over come any set backs I have and I know there will be many of them but there will also be so many highs and new life adventures along the way as well.

For my birthday I am getting some amazing things.

I got my tattoo.
I am getting a Japaness Red Maple tree that I have wanted for about 5 years now, we found one and my hubby is going to plant it for me and I can sit out there and relax under it when its in season it will be amazing to relax under.
I am also getting a glider lesson out in the mountains of Perth, this will be an adventure and so much fun.

A year and a half ago this week, is when I took control of my life and started working to better myself, and I have found a life that I love and a person that is stronger and happier than ever before.

So keep going towards your dreams you can do anything, even if it takes you a few times to get there.


Friday, August 6, 2010

week update.

I have had a better week this week, not great but more on focus,

I have been working on a lot of the inner change lately and had a lot of things changing around me, my personal growth is just as important as the weight loss.

To mark the new me I got my first tattoo, its is Japanese symbols and it saids STRENGTH & DETERMINATION
when I choose these words, Strength had to be there, but the second word I found when at the studio, reading the means of the words Determination had two symbols one the meaning we would expect but the other ones meaning was to had determination to find your true self and complete your growth cycle, this was it so I got them both on the back of my neck. AM I LOVE THEM.

I was ran twice this week so far, a 3km run and a 5km run, the second run has made my hip hurt again not to bad but still there, I am going to not run for next two days and meeting up with the girls on Sunday for a working out at Kings park so will how I go then.

Food wise I still cant get back on the 12wbt menu, I am eating a lot better that the other week more in control and focused, but eating more like I did before the 12wbt which is not great but not bad as I lost alot of weight before that so I was still doing the right things for me, I think its just easier than sticking to the planed menu, my weight stayed the same this week, which is good as it was only a few days before weight in that I got my crap together and made a stand so lot what I had gained there. It TTOM now so will see how this week goes.

So I am happy with where I am at the moment, mind in right place, food in control, workouts getting back into line, need to do more but am scared to push that with hip but I am awear that I am where I am and still doing stuff not unfocused like before so moving the right direction.

Will update again soon

Monday, August 2, 2010

A fools awaking....

I have been fooling myself that I am doing this, when I know that I have not been focused this round as I was last round.
I think I hit the 50kg mark and thought I can do this no problem, and just lost my direction, not training as I keep telling myself that I would get hurt again (after hip trouble end of round 1) would do a day or two here or there but thats about it.

The last week or so I have found myself eatting everything I can get my hands on, not all bad stuff but just lost of stuff one after the other, and so out of control like I use to do, even telling myself its not fatty food so its ok, but I know better than that.

so I have just gone back to my pre season tasks and reread them and made some new goals as I cant meet the other ones now that I had before. So I will start this again from now taking back control and doing what I know I should of been doing all along.

I have 4 weeks till the city to surf in perth and I will still be running that.
But here are my new goals for the next 6 weeks of this round.

6 week goal to train 5 days a week at least with at least 3 days with running training.
Eat to plan and no more than 1200cals no sweets must break that sweet tooth habit again.
To be 78kg or under by end of round 2 program.
Clear out my head of neg self talk.
Reconfirm to myself that I am worth this, and that I can do it.
I have come to far to go backwards now.

Thanks for reading my ramble.