2011 new year new goals.

2 more nights of 2010 left.. so new goals needed for 2011.

I plan to finish my weight loss goal but more focused on Fun and fitness than weight. I will be eating clean, as per 12wbt plan and things I know I need to do like I uses to.

I have made a goal list of a new adventure each month that I have never done before that I want to do,
but to do these I will need to be fit to be able to safely do them.

Jan - Paintball
Feb - Catamaran on the Swan River
March - Kite Surfing
April - Horse Riding
May - Hiking part Bibbulmun Track
June - Rock Climbing
July - Scooter riding around Fremantle
Aug - hang Gliding
Sept - Mountain Biking
October - Abseiling and Caving
Nov - Parasailing
Dec - Surfing

Hows is that for a year of Fun.!!!!

Now for the fit -
On top of all that I will be getting back into my running again
with a
5km run in Feb
8km run in March
12km run in April
15km run in May
18 Run in July
Half Marathon in Aug

So with all that I think I will meet my goals of fun and fit..LOL and on the plus side all with the training to get to do these things the weight will come off as a side bonus.

Another month gone bye bye - bit of a long post sorry.

Well as same as before, great start and then stop.

Been running around in my head, why I keep doing this
Came up with some great reasons, (EXCUSSES)!!!! As to why.

1. - No point nothing will change anyway
2. - I am afraid that is I lose the weight I will not know how to dress right
3. - I will look worse as the excess skin gets worse if I keep losing any more
4. - I am happy this way now that I am healthy
5. - I am sick of giving up my time to train
6. - I want to enjoy my life now that I can
7. - I can’t find a balance of normal to obsessive so don’t worry about doing anything
8. - My hip hurts and will get worse
9. - There are people around me at home so I don’t want to put them out with my training and eating.
10. - Don’t like the fashion the plus size clothes look good this season.

I am sure I could keep going.

OK now one of the 12WBT pre season tasks was to find your EXCUESSES and smash them so here are my positive head replies.

1. - Things have changed and will continue to change and I just got to work around them and though the problems and enjoy the good things fully.
2. - OK well that is what I have friends for to tell me if I look silly, but I went shopping yesterday and I know that what I want to wear will look great when I have lost the weight, it looks good now and how much more fun will it be when I can just buy them. I had my colour chart done and it was great fun, and there are
services if I get really lost that can help me find what suits my new shape.
3. - ok yes this one has a tiny bit of truth in it, I have found that the skin is getting worse as I get closer to my goal, but it looks so much worse when I am not working out as I don’t have the toning to shape my body and it looks undefined, but when I am training there is shape and the skin is not as bad. It will look better when there are not extra layers of fat under it pushing it out as well. I will be getting some plastic work done in a year or so after I finish, and it’s pulled up as much as it will.
4. - Well now this is just funny, if I am happier why as I so damn down when I am not working out, and sitting around, yes it’s not all the time but I have found if I am not enjoying life now and that includes training and being able to push myself to do things I could never do before, after a few weeks I am so damn low, and I get on here and write great big long posts like this one..LOL
5. - Well yes it can get a bit repetitive, but this is my new life and I need to find ways to enjoy it, sometimes it’s just JFDI and other times if doing something new and exciting so that it does not feel like training but just having a blast. Need to look into to these ideas more, any hints leave a comment, and I will give it a go.
6. - Yes I do that is why I need to keep living my life, we have booked in to do a 3 hours sail on a tall ship and I want to climb the 33m main sail, well that was the goal when I booked it, now that I have stopped working out, I was saying to hubby last night, I don’t know if I could do it now!!!!!! WHAT where is the enjoying my life part if I can’t do the things I want to enjoy because I have been sitting on my butt for the last 3 weeks. I want to do extreme things (for me anyway) so I need to have the strength and stamina to do them, that is enjoying life.
7. - Well this is me in a nutshell, it’s all or nothing, if I can’t do something I just want do anything and that will make it ok, even typing that I realise how dumb that sounds so why does it make sense in my head when I do it. ? I was talking with hubby about this just last night, and his reply was, when you were doing it you where hanging around like minded people, who were talking about it as much as you where and you where all drawing energy off each other and fuelling each other on, and you where all happy doing that, then I stopped and now its obsessive, but it’s not its normal and it made you happy and its infectious as its gets other people around you wanting to enjoy life like they see you are. (Side note my hubby has now lost over 20kg and is running 6km every other day now)((And looking very sexy)).
8.- Yes my HIP this was a big stopper for me, but like I said above all or nothing, my hip falls into this group, if I can’t run, what’s the point of doing anything, Yes I know I should work around it, sports people do it all the time with worse damage that I got. But have I got off my butt and found out how to fix this properly NO, it was just the doctor said rest it and stop running so I did, is she a specialist in any area of training NO, so I am going to go to the running centre in Perth and talk to them, see their doc, I am going to try some Chinese natural methods and see if that helps as well as the anit inflames the doc gave me.
9. - Yes there are others living in the house, and not once have they tried to stop me, it’s me that stops me thinking about them and what they might I repeat might be thinking, and I been doing this for almost 2 years now so they are just happy to see a happy me enjoying my life.
10. - OMG really, I was so shocked when I said that to myself, yes the plus size fashions are a lot better now than before, but I don’t want to go back there.

So now that they are out of the way, what am I going to do.

THE PLAN

Back to basics.

Clean out house of food that I should not be eating.
Meal plan
Shop as per plan and no extra treats just in case of company etc.
No more treats at work, no more just a tiny bit will be fine.
15 weeks is the plan, I have 12 KG to go but this will allow for xmas, and a plato in there as well.
Be as "obsessive" as I need to be to achieve my goals, and enjoy life.

Training - 4 days a week will be running Yes running building up slowly and working with specialist for my hip. 1 day will be hill training.
The other training will be weights work 1 day a week, and body weight training 2 days a week. Including Swimming, cycling and endurance work.
1 weekend day a month will be a fun outdoor event, with hubby to enjoy what we are doing and still be working out.
MONDAY is my day off. I will do Super Sunday run training.

Goals / rewards - apart from weight loss

End week 5 - Run 7km - Sail boarding
End week 10 - Run 14km - Horse Riding
end week 15 - BE AT GOAL WEIGHT AND RUN A HALF MARATHON with hubby The Darlington half 19th March 11

I have found a 1/2 morathon training program so I will be following that for my weekly training, so I am not just doing it as guess work I have got the good information, I will so that a bit later on for all to see.

I found a great quote online while looking into the marathon stuff that I want to finish my blog today with.

"Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night. But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."
George S. Patton, U.S. Army General, 1912 Olympian

Going good, with hick ups..LOL

Well here is my update, still marching along,
weight not really moving, but shaping is happening,
missed my class on Friday Sunday and Monday. But did double class today as was ment to.

Friday was because they dont run classes late at night that day and I was to slack to go to the earlier one, it was pump and I really dont like pump class so it was all me being bad.

Sunday was doing a market and could not make it at the times it was runing. But did not do anything else either again me being bad.

Monday was a crap day and very busy at work, so got home got into PJ and just veg out, again pump class day.

Weight in day was only a 600g loss, as was bad on saturday night out with friends, and eat more sugar than I should of and few drinks as well. was not good for me.

so still sitting at the 83.5 mark seem to bounce between the 85.5 and the 83 mark all the time at the moment. Up and down everyday.LOL but like I said shaping changing so happy with that and just keep going and smashing the classes, the new summer class list came out today and no extra combat or kimax on there , was not happy with that, they added spin and more pump :( in the mornings.

Well after 1st nov be doing morning classes more so that will make life after work a bit easier at the start of the week, except for my double class days of tues and thurs as I will still keep them.

I went to target on thursday and layby 2 new dress in size 12 so that I can have them as a goal to be in them before I collected them in the 8 weeks time when layby finishes. I am in a lot of size 12 already but these are a bit on the small 12 size.

Anyway thats my update for now.

Goal this week is to try and stop or at least cut down at lot on my snacking, they are healty low fat snacks but to many of them, after work and later at night.

Will keep working on that one and let you know how I go over next week oh and make sure do all my class workout plans.

Keep smiling and live you dreams what ever they are.

oh almost forgot new photos taken last weekend after new hair do.

I did not give up.

Yesterday was a test day for me, I got up and got on the scales as I do every morning, and I was 85.3kg, I was like what the hell, I have been eating so clean and working my ass off all week, so I had the whats the point voices start in my head, but I stopped them, (yaay me) I looked at my body, my arms where more toned my legs and tummy looked better, ok brain this is what you got to think about, not the scales, do I stop and give up only to regret it in a few days and feel sorry for myself, or do I look at the positives and think about how I feel at the moment (apart from the hurting muscles). So I got dressed and went off the boxing. I WON THAT MIND FIGHT...!!!!

I then went out for the day with my daughter, and had a great day with a nice lunch, and then all I wanted was sweet stuff, again the Neg voices started, and again I had the self talk that I had in the morning again. I did have 3 small squares of choc in the afternoon to fix that craving before I just eat really bad I think it was hormonal craving, but I only had the 3 was controlled and I knew what I was doing, I wanted to eat more but, thought nope. Not this time I am going to get pass this sticking point and get under the 80kg mark.

So after craving the choc cake I seen at the shop I went home and got changed to go for my 2nd workout for the day, before I could give in to the voices in my head, of just relax, it will not hurt. But yes it will hurt if I do not stick to my plan, I will crumble again, and next time I want to slack of or eat bad it will be easier cause I have already done it once. So I stayed focused and went and to combat and punched away..LOL left stuffed but feeling very good, and when I got home I did not want to eat bad as I had worked so hard, was very pleased with myself.

Today I got up and got on the scales as I do and I was 83kg, so I was just water retention, and I did not give in and wreck all the work I have done this week and I have in the last few months. So I am on a real positive note today, I WON MY MIND BATTLE THIS TIME!!!!

I am sure there will be plenty more but I can call back on this one now and remember how good I felt after not giving in, happy and focused instead for regret and why me voices in my head.

So today's plan is to get some jewellery work done, going into rockingham to layby some new goal dress that I seen yesterday, so that I will fit into them for summer.
Then body pump in the afternoon.

Ok off to have some food.

A +++ I am so proud of me!!!

Just quick update.

Well perfect day, as planed for me today.
Morning boxing at 6am tick,
All meals as planed tick,
After work combat class done tick,

and big big bonus tick because the boss brought in yummy looking
Cookies and cream cheese cake for afternoon tea, and I said NO thanks.
But they did look very yummy, but I have a bigger goal in mind than the 10mins of enjoying that food.

I am hurting all over from the workouts but that is only because I stopped working my body as I should of been doing. It will be better in a few days I am sure.

Well I am feeling very focused and on track at the moment, but not going to let that make me get complacent as it has in the pass, eyes on the price or in this case the scales...LOL

OK I have very tired so going to head off to bed early tonight I think.

Night all see you all again soon.

Still working hard.

Well 3rd day in row been training and eating good, I am so sick of being in the 80's for this long, I have it set in my mind that I want to see the 79 number or less on my scales.

I signed up at the gym again tonight for 4 weeks, so I need to use that and just keep going, I have been so hung up on wanting to run and not being able to do it with my hip that it has brought me down and I lost my drive or why I want to do this, what I want in my life, ok so yes I can't run, FOR NOW, I will give it the time to heal and just workout like I was doing before.

Tomorrow I have a double workout day, boxing at 6am and then combat at 6pm, it feels good to be focused again.

I had my check in today and I had only lost 200G from last monday but at least it was not going up more, still not back where I was a few weeks ago, but I will get there.

My food has been good, even checked the ebook from 12wbt to make sure my food is as it should be.

Time to smash it up, if I want to get anywhere near my goal for xmas.

Night for now have a great night till I update next, keep your mind in the right place and remember why you are doing this.

Ouch Ouch Ouch LOL

Well after boxing yesterday and Combat class today , I am hurting just a bit..LOL

Been good on my food as well.

Re-watched the end of round 2 12wbt video this morning, and cried, I am strong and have achieved so much, but it is not over and I want no I need to complete this for me.
Set backs and down times seem to be happening a lot but I guess there is a lesson in here somewhere for me to learn from this and then I can keep moving forward.

I am getting caught up in the crap and not doing what I need to do and just get off my butt and do it.

I am also having a very hard time at the moment with my new body and all the excess skin I have after loosing so much weight, I was watching myself today in class when doing combat and can see all the skin bouncing around, it looks so bad and is also getting painful, when I am jumping around. I have an appointment next month to see a plastic surgeon just to get some information and see how it can help me.
My amazing hubby, has told me if I want it done to complete the work I have done, we will get a loan and do it, as I have worked so hard and achieved things I have only ever talked about doing or dreamed about.
I have a hard time, thinking of the $$$$ spent on myself to do this, so will see what the doc saids first.

Anyway I am off to get some housework done, and then maybe some shopping could be fun. LOL
Will update again soon, have a great weekend.

I am so over this!!!!

Today, I am so over all of this, up and down, why and why not.
I am pissed off at myself, AGAIN.
In one week I have undone all that I was doing, went to the doc on thursday, she has ordered a ultra sound of my hip, (but cant get in to do that for 3 weeks), so I wait again, she also informed me that my iron and tyroid levels are still very very low, WHAT THE HELL!! So we stuff around with tabs again, this as well as my why why why mind had me binging for days, I feel like I have been fighting this area for so long now, I go really great and then when I get close I undo it all got on the scale the other day to see 85.5 again, thats up 3.5kg, then today when I got on 83.5 so not as bad but still up when I was so looking forward to hitting the 40% mark.

This is not as important to me anymore, I think, I am happy at this size its the smallest I have ever been since I got married, but I also want to hit my goal of 70kg, my mind is divided, is this and excuess or a fear? why do I do this to myself over and over again.

I tried to run yesterday only to have my hip start hurting almost straight away, so stopped it is wearing my mind down I know that, it is like when ever I start to get good, something stops me, yes I know I stop me, and its me giving in.

I am off to boxing this morning I have not been to that class for ages so I hope that I can still do this one with no pain, I am going to have to work out another training plan I think.

On a better note I got my hair done on thursday a new style and look made me feel great and I did realise how crappy I have been feeling about myself this might have something to do with the binges as well. But now I am looking hot again..LOL and today I am off to a wedding of some friends and I have not seen alot of our mutual friends in almost a year so they are in for a shock..LOL I have a little black wow dress that is going to make there jaw drop..LOL Tania like they never seen her before.
I am hoping this will give me the drive to keep smashing it up.

Have a great day.

Weigh in Day.

Well its a month since I refocus and recleared my head and today was weigh in day again and I am now a flat 82kg, so thats a 2.3kg loss this week. Whhhhoooooo so pleased. I am back!!!! That is 4.9kg in the 4 weeks and so damn close to my 40% mark of 81.3kg, If all goes well I should hit that is week, it is TTOM due end this coming week, so that might put a spanner in the works but only by a week.

I have been watching Lifestyle food channel alot this weekend and rediscovering my love for cooking, but healthy cooking, and have been making some really yummy dinners and lunches.

Training has been ok, not great but not flat either, went for a couple of runs, and my hip started up again, so back off to the doctors on thursday again, she going to book in a scan cant remember what type. LOL

Plan for today is to do housework, clean and detail my car, then wash carpets, so that should burn some cals..LOL

Have a great week and I will check in again soon.

DAY 2 ....

ok just a quick update tonight.
We are at days two, and I have done training everyday since sunday, and even increased the level of it. My arms and legs are hurting but I am loving it..LOL
Did the run on sunday as I posted about, did DVD last night and then combat tonight, forgot how much I loved doing that class. Still haveing to get use to late dinners as its 7.30 by the time I get home from work and gym, then have to cook and eat, makes for late dinner every night, might need to pull out the slow cooker again or pre cook some that can just zap.

Food been good, not binges so I am happy with that.

Feeling a bit tired tonight but I am not surprised with that. So think I will have an early night tonight.

Train hard and enjoy every day.

I DID IT !!!!!

OK what a week I have had, head up and down as you seen, but I kept going, food could of been a bit better but all in all not to bad, last night went out with the 12wbt perth group for end of round 2 dinner, meet some amazing ladies, round 2 and round 3, new people (lol they have no idea what there in for,,LOL.

Then today Bibra Lake Fun Run, 6km and I did it, non stop, took the pills the doctor gave me for my hip before I started and just went slow and steady, but I got all the way to the finish line in one go, my goal was to run 5km outside non stop but when I got there I thought its only 1km to go and I know I can do that so I just kept going... it took me round 45mins but I finished with the biggest smile on my face.
bet my personal best by 2km why would I not be smiling.
So I am pleased to say that the crappy photo last week did not stop me going today and doing something I never thought I could do before.

Round 3 of 12wbt kicks off tomorrow, I am not doing it this time, but will still be doing the mile stones and working my butt off just the same with the girls.

OK time for me to head out and do other fun things, Have a great day and enjoy all of it.

Clearing head today.

My head is a bit clearer today, the day started with me crying as I showed one of my friends the photo, but after her kicking my butt..LOL as well as Suellen from Transforme comment on here. I am thinking of ways to work with this, use it to help me.

I am also booked in to see my GP to see what they can find out about my hip, I am going to ask her about skin removal, as this is getting me down alot lately, and it is getting worse as I loose the last 10kg of weight.
To keep my head in the right space, this is something that I think I will need to deal with quicker than I thought I would.

Had a bad eatting time tonight, I think it was me rebelling, but I will be back on track tomorrow.

All set for my next fun run on the weekend, but I will only be power walking this one.

Will check back in soon,

not happy photo

Hi just a quick update, as I noticed that I only seem to update when all is good.
Well the photos came online from the fun run on the weekend,
I was all excited to see my run photos and when I found it I am now so down
it was so horrible I looked so bad, not at all what I thought I look like in my head,
now all I want to do is eat, as I feel like "whats the point" I know this is not true, but I feel like crap.
I know I need to sit down and clear my head and find the right balance, I am not fat anymore, yes there is a lot of skin and it was a bad photo from a very bad angle and no I will not eat to make myself feel better, as this will not help me at all just make me feel bad, later.

OK lets get this sorted.

Fact - I have lost a heap of weight, after years of being over weight for so long, hence my body has excess skin and I have not finished lossing my weight, so I have my belly belt, and thights.
I can now run more that I could walk before and I finished my race even if my hip was still sore.

Crap - I am still fat, there is no point to keep going as I look like crap anyway.

now thats out there I need to remember this and look back here when I need to get it clear in my head again.

Ok vent ok for now,
night

Check in day.

Well it was weight in
day for me today, and another 1.2kg gone...WHHHOOO
1.9kg to go and I have lost 40% of my body since starting...counting down.

Still going good and on plan, need to becareful with my training at the moment
as, hubby and I did the Freo fun run 5km on Sunday and it was very wet and windy, I started off good, but around the 2km mark my hip was in so much pain, so I stopped running so hard and walked most of the rest of it, I would try to run again and the pain, was back again, it was not so bad I could not move but it was very sharp so I thought it would not be good to push this. I am goign to book in to go back to the doc this week and see what we can do as this has gone on for a bit to long now.

Last time, I stopped with my hip I lost track so I will not let that happen this time.

I just need to work around it somehow. I am booked in for the fun run this weekend which is 6.5km so not sure how or if I will be doing this one or if I will power walk it.

I will not stop this time that is my promise to myself and to you all.
On would and down would on the scales for me.

Still running along

We all is great, working hard at my new business goals,
Weight is still slowly coming off, I have set my new mini goal
82.4kg which will mark my 40% body loss since starting.
I am now at 83.1kg so less than a kg to go for that one then I aim for the 45% mark.

I am still running not as much as I would like to as my hip is still playing up,
I need to go back to the doc I think, but I am just working with it and resting it when I need to, got the Freo fun run tomorrow morning only put down for the 5km due to my hip but my goal is to run the whole thing non stop which will be first, for me and one of the mini milestones. Best I have done non stop before outside is 4km, so will be very proud when I finish this one.

I have also been doing some small amount of weights, which is great I can see the shaping in my arms now, they looking a lot better.

Anyway I am off got things to do and places to be..LOL

I was filling in my curent module for the Kick Start Your Best Life program by Transforme. This is a fantastic program for anyone who wants to change their life and work out direction and really have a good hard look at themselfs. Anyway I thought of something that I think is a great quote and wanted to share it with you all.

Sitting on the couch dreaming it and not doing anything about it is a waste of time, trying and achiving or not achiving is never a waste of time its called LIVING

New personal best :-)

This week is still going really well,

Food was a little bit off plan today as was my freeish afternoon being Saturday.
But not to bad.

But I went for a run today and I did 4.2km non stop, I have never done that far before with out stopping and walking a bit, and my new run path included some very hilly areas as well so I am very pleased with myself, it took me 35min.
My hip is a bit tender tonight so will see how I pull up tomorrow as to what workout I do.

Looking forward to weigh in on Monday to see how that is going, in my peek previews looking good.
Head still in a good spot, I have been listerning to a meditation track as I fall asleep and its been really good, good nights sleep and awake refreshed.
Been working on my food and training plan for next week so all set to keep going in the right direction. Till then.

Adventure is a way to live, when life is in your hands.

Quick Update!!

Ok just quick as I about to head to bed and remembered I had to do this today.

Day 3 of back on track and I am please to report I have been very good.

Food has been as planed and no binges or blowouts.
Workouts have not been as planned as been hurting so much after City 2 Surf took a few days to recover there and I did not want to risk pushing my hip more after the weekend while is was still hurting, but got my gear all set for a run in the morning.

My C2S time was 1:47:47 so I am so very proud of myself there for that.

Today I did something that I never ever thought I would do in my life, I am now an offical member of the Western Australian Marathon Club...wwwhhhhooooooooo
So now I have to learn to run properlly. LOL I am also very proud to say that my hubby is going to do is first ever Fun Run when he comes home next, we are doing the Freo fun run of 5km, I am so looking forward to running along side him it is something we had never done before, a whole new way of life to go with the new person I have become.
I have signed up to do 2 fun runs this month the 5km with hubby and a 6.5km the weekend after.

Anyway all is good and I am still moving towards my goals and dreams so YAAAYYY me.

Aim big as you never know what life will bring you when you are open to adventure.

City to Surf 2010

Today was a big day for me, for a couple of reasons.

I completed my first ever City to Surf Run
I completed 12km in around 1.30mins times dont come out till tomorrow
but I know it was under 2 hours..lol so happy with that.



Just over 12 months ago when I lost my first 10kg my reward was some PT seasions
and he challenged me to do the city to surf, I said there was no way I could do that.
But today with a few tears, I did, I did not run the whole thing, but that was not my goal, my goal today was to cross that finish line and remember how far I have come.
The last 3 or so months have been a bit of a waste of time, in the weight loss department, I have lost and gained the same 3 kg, I have removed my surport network and almost given up, eatting things I know I should not be having and not working out.
I have wastied time, trying to work out why I am doing this and what is wrong with me.

Last week I had an AAAARRRRHHHHH moment, there is nothing wrong with me, and as for why who cares, I am sure there is a reason but why wait to find it, I sat and thought for a long time what has changed, what is different and came up with a list of things I had done before that I do not do now. So I sat and thought I AM GOING TO FINISH THIS I am not going to stop and go oh well it just another thing I didnt finish but I got a long way into to it and I look and feel so much better so its ok. Its not ok I have 15 - 18 kg to go to hit my goal I set over a year and a half ago, to get to 70kg (18kg will see me to have lost 50% of my body since starting)

So today I refected on this as I was running and cryed as I crossed the finish line thinking of how far I have come to stop now would be nuts.
This afternoon as I relax here I am working out my meal plans, my training, and my new goals and rewards like I used to do before, I have readded my surport network on facebook, and talked to my family about getting this done and there role in helping me which they are very happy to see me do.

So all in all big day..LOL
Tomorrow 6.30 training with V and back on track, I know I have said this alot in the last few post as I have been trying but my head feel different now, it feels like it did before I went to Sydney and that is a great thing.

Enjoy life and live for enjoyment.

count down!!!!!

Well this week has been ok, lost another kg.. seen 82.9kg on the scales this morning was happy to see 82's. This week has been a lot better since I stopped betting myself up about what I am not doing and just done what I was doing before.

I have done a bit of running and a couple of classes, but my hip is hurting again.
I think after the City to Surf which is only 16 days away..... arrrhhhhhh I will just give it a big break no running, etc and see how that goes.

Well it is only 3 days till my 40th birthday, I did not hit my goal that I set a year and a half ago, but you know that is fine, because I have not only lost over 53kg but changed the person I was into someone that is living my life, and achiving my dreams. I have changed my mental state and views along the way, so this I think is a part of the weight loss process that you dont think about when you start but with out doing that I know I just would of gone back to where I was. I know now that I will not ever be that person again. My life is not the same as it was before, I am a stronger person, who now knows what to eat and how to work with my body, for the good and the bad, I know what I need to do if I get depressed and how to over come any set backs I have and I know there will be many of them but there will also be so many highs and new life adventures along the way as well.

For my birthday I am getting some amazing things.

I got my tattoo.
I am getting a Japaness Red Maple tree that I have wanted for about 5 years now, we found one and my hubby is going to plant it for me and I can sit out there and relax under it when its in season it will be amazing to relax under.
I am also getting a glider lesson out in the mountains of Perth, this will be an adventure and so much fun.

A year and a half ago this week, is when I took control of my life and started working to better myself, and I have found a life that I love and a person that is stronger and happier than ever before.

So keep going towards your dreams you can do anything, even if it takes you a few times to get there.

Tania

week update.

I have had a better week this week, not great but more on focus,

I have been working on a lot of the inner change lately and had a lot of things changing around me, my personal growth is just as important as the weight loss.

To mark the new me I got my first tattoo, its is Japanese symbols and it saids STRENGTH & DETERMINATION
when I choose these words, Strength had to be there, but the second word I found when at the studio, reading the means of the words Determination had two symbols one the meaning we would expect but the other ones meaning was to had determination to find your true self and complete your growth cycle, this was it so I got them both on the back of my neck. AM I LOVE THEM.

I was ran twice this week so far, a 3km run and a 5km run, the second run has made my hip hurt again not to bad but still there, I am going to not run for next two days and meeting up with the girls on Sunday for a working out at Kings park so will how I go then.

Food wise I still cant get back on the 12wbt menu, I am eating a lot better that the other week more in control and focused, but eating more like I did before the 12wbt which is not great but not bad as I lost alot of weight before that so I was still doing the right things for me, I think its just easier than sticking to the planed menu, my weight stayed the same this week, which is good as it was only a few days before weight in that I got my crap together and made a stand so lot what I had gained there. It TTOM now so will see how this week goes.

So I am happy with where I am at the moment, mind in right place, food in control, workouts getting back into line, need to do more but am scared to push that with hip but I am awear that I am where I am and still doing stuff not unfocused like before so moving the right direction.

Will update again soon

A fools awaking....

I have been fooling myself that I am doing this, when I know that I have not been focused this round as I was last round.
I think I hit the 50kg mark and thought I can do this no problem, and just lost my direction, not training as I keep telling myself that I would get hurt again (after hip trouble end of round 1) would do a day or two here or there but thats about it.

The last week or so I have found myself eatting everything I can get my hands on, not all bad stuff but just lost of stuff one after the other, and so out of control like I use to do, even telling myself its not fatty food so its ok, but I know better than that.

so I have just gone back to my pre season tasks and reread them and made some new goals as I cant meet the other ones now that I had before. So I will start this again from now taking back control and doing what I know I should of been doing all along.

I have 4 weeks till the city to surf in perth and I will still be running that.
But here are my new goals for the next 6 weeks of this round.

6 week goal to train 5 days a week at least with at least 3 days with running training.
Eat to plan and no more than 1200cals no sweets must break that sweet tooth habit again.
To be 78kg or under by end of round 2 program.
Clear out my head of neg self talk.
Reconfirm to myself that I am worth this, and that I can do it.
I have come to far to go backwards now.

Thanks for reading my ramble.

Catch up mind getting back where should be, sorry bit long...

OK so it’s been almost a month since I have posted on here, for a few reasons.

1 - Been very busy
2 - Had crap mind set
3 - Needed to rethink why I am here and what I want to do
4 - Started round 2 and lost track of everything important
5 - Was so down about hip and doc ban gave up a bit
6 - Had been so long was embarrassed to admit I was a bit lost
and lastly did not know where to restart.

All good reasons in my head, all good excesses to not be accountable to myself at this point in time.

But now (hopefully) my mind back where should be.

Ok catch up so much has happen so will give quick rundown so not to make this post pages long.

Went to Sydney was AMAZING is an understatement
Climbed bridge
Worked out with Michelle and some of the 12wbt members
Makeover
and round 1 Party was some of the most fantastic 3 days of my life and will remember for years to come.

Back from Sydney start of round 2 of 12wbt - got home with I can do anything mentality only to do nothing and then take large steps backwards, don’t know why.... and think of reasons but don’t really know for sure.

Had huge fight with hubby and just started eating again, doc ban on excise and hip pain made everything seem almost pointless so why keep trying so hard.
Don’t get me wrong it was only a couple of days I was about 70o/o out of control but the no point can’t be bothered went on for a few weeks.
Had some great days and some good and others crap. But you get that, life goes on and so does my adventure to find the best me I can be.

Ok well let’s get to today and where I am at now.....

Doc done x-rays they all clear been on ban and had break for few weeks, went to first class last Thursday, hubby was home and had best of Pink playing on foxtel I was having a great time singing and dancing around and thought I would love to go to a class today, check timetable and there was a combat class on at 5.30, combat is one of my fav classes so I thought yer and went and got changed, was the first time in ages I wanted to go workout, so it felt really good.... step in right direction for a change. Went do class HRM said burnt 530cal for the class so was happy with that and I a bit soar today so know I work some parts that been sitting still for a while.
Thought about going to spin today but then thought might not be good idea to jump back into what I was doing full swing right away so going to do every other day classes for a bit, as well as my workouts with V in mornings.

While talking about V..... I just wanted to add on here, a big THANK YOU to her, she is my training partner, my friend, and an amazing lady. In my up and down times of late she has never let me fall to far down, keeps ringing me to make sure I am meeting up for our walks (as that was all the doc would let me do) we meet at 6am before her kids get up to make sure training is done. I am not sure if I would not of fallen down a lot more if not for her, so again thank you.

Anyway.....I still have between 10 and 15km to lose. This week as my head is getting clearer, I have been thinking about what I want next in my life.
I want to get my jewellery business off the ground.
I want to better myself
I want to learn photography
I want to study some marketing courses to help with my new business
I want to enjoy life with my hubby and the adventure that holds
I want my website to be professional and attract wholesale shops to stock my jewellery
I want to look and feel how I do in my mind
I want to run a half marathon with V in Oct

Not bad for a start....I believe in things happening for a reason and sometimes things come along to help you achieve what you want, we just last night, while I was looking around online, I found a friends post about a program call Kick Start your Best life. well that sounds like want I need to help me start achieving my I WANT LIST... last time I found something like that it was the 12WBT program just when I wanted something just like that....so I will be reviewing this new program and see how I go.

Ok well that is my update and catch up... meeting V in morning for our first run / walk workout for a while city to surf not to far away so need to get that training happening.

Train hard believe in yourself because you can do it.

Meeting Michelle!!!!

Today Michelle Bridges is in Perth, Yay....and I am going down to meet her.

So started today with my swim with V at 6.30, have to admit that I did not drag my butt out of bed till 6.15 as was so cold and fell back asleep but I got there.
Damn hip..LOL I hate swimming at that time of the morning.

V is meeting Michelle in the morning but I have an appointment for my daughter at that time so will be going to the afternoon one, but V who is an amazing women and full of great ideas said she is taking her certificate from Round 1 for her to sign, what a fab idea so I have just got mine ready to take to office works and print out as I got no ink left in my printer... way to go V I would not of thought of that, mine was just going to sit saved on my desktop and that is it, now it can have pride of place in my bead room where I will see it all the time.

I am in the process of trying to find a running coach in Perth, for one or two sessions so that I can see if and how I am running in right, want to beat this fear of running, as I know I can do it, was thinking about it and think it might be from having such bad asthma as a child that I was not allowed to ever run, so could be my brain still panics over that, I don't know but I will bet it and run. It a sign of fitness to me, if you can run you are fit if you can not run you are not fit. I know this is not true but its has always been there for me, so I want to bet it and know I can do anything. Will have to wait because of hip at moment but I am on the task.

My eating has been good bit picky again at night but not to bad in all. I think its being bored at night that I do it so will need to focus on changing that before It a habit again.

OK I am off to take on the world again today..LOL oh and meet Michelle.
8 days till Sydney.....

Something funny happen at work.

Posted this on forum but wanted to put it here to remember later as well.

Had a customer come in today that had not been in for more than 6 months or so.

I server her as normal chatting away, just before she left, the other lady that works with me came out and the women turned to her and say " what happen to the other lady that use to work here?" I just looked at my work mate as I did not know who the customer was talking about as there had been some part time staff there while I was on leave before. The customer could see we where confused and said you know the one with the short red hair.... My work mate started laughing and I clicked I looked at the customer and said that would be me......OMG she said and hugged me you look like a different person she was so shocked.

I guess that is what happens when you grow your hair and change the colour, and lose 50kg...LOL
I was so cool I felt great. A bit embarrassed about the big deal she made over it. LOL

Been busy great long weekend.

OK have not posted for a little while but all has been good, just busy.

Have signed up for the City to surf, but not the half marathon that I posted in the last update, as worked out there is only 12 weeks till the race and with my hip stopping me from training there just is no time to get ready for it, so will be doing the 12km for the City to surf but promised myself that I will do a half marathon by the end of the year.

I signed up to a 10 day Bikram Yoga class intro sessions, and well that is a class that pushes you body and mind, the heat is so intence. I can do most of the class with out my hip hurting to much apart from a couple of moves so just work around them. Heading back to a class today for that. The trainer saids you get use to the heat and dont notice it as much after a few classes I hope he is right.

Oh the big thing that has happen since my last update cant belive it wasnt my first part of the post. I hit my next goal I have now lost 50.1kg and got a personal message from Michelle when I posted it on twitter, that made my day I was jumping around like a school kid on such a high...LOL my kids where laughing at me....

My food has been good, just need to work on drinking more water, do good with this for a few days then forget again.

I also came up with my personal mantra for 12wbt and for myself its

I will finish what I have started, because I can do more than I think I can.

This is from when I completed the triathlon and surprised myself in what I can do and how great it made me feel.

Oh and I got to buy new jeans got 16's and had to take the back for size 14 I was over the moon and they look so great. So I posted a new photo of myself and new profile pic, was on such a high.

OK well that is it from me today. only 10 days to go till sydney.

Train like no one is watching.... most of the time they are not anyway so dont be put off. You can do it.

Fear - excues - Goal

Today started out good, woke up before alarm as thought I was going to be late, but was an hour early, tried to get back to sleep, but not much luck. Alarm goes off I get up and get ready. Its still dark and very very cold but off I head to the pool for a swim with V. My hip is a bit soar but nothing bad, walked in the pool for a bit and swam a few laps it did hurt which surprised me so I just took it easy.

Anyway after the swim talking with V we started talking about the city to surf, I had always said I was going to do the 12km run, but V thinks I should do the half marathon.
I all most died, what I thought, I cant do that, there is no way I could ever do that.
But she tells me that I can and to think about it very seriously. I head off to work thinking no way, over coffee chatting to the girl at work, who is planing to do the city to surf with me I tell her about what V said, and looking to her for her to say "no way, I dont think you could do that yet", but NO I get "yer that would be great for you", will no one help me validate my excuses.

So I have this swimming around in my head, only to come home and read the 12wbt forum and one of the girls on there who started when I did, has set her goal to do a half marathon in the same time frame, well thats 3 times in one day, I think I just have to give in and say OK I will give it my best go and start training ASAP.
Worse case I get to the start of Aug and admit that I can only do the 12km that I had 1st set myself to do and just sign up for that, best case I smash it and blow myself away with what I can do now.
At the end of Aug I will be at my goal weight or very close to it, so there is nothing stopping me from doing this bar my mind and my mental state, and I know as do you that after round 1 of 12wbt that we can do more that we ever thought we could, I remember my mental state of I CANT DO IT when we got the triathlon task
so If I can do that I can do this.
Looked up some training programs and found a good beginners one for 18 weeks so guess that is what I will work on.

Food today was good I did pick a little after dinner on low fat stuff, no good will have to focus on not doing that again. I just find it so hard to stick to stuff when hubby is home.

Tomorrow's plan.

Swim or walk in morning. 30mins
cross trainer after work. 20mins

well I am off to bed, to regret what I have just put out into the world that I am going to do...LOL but how amazing will it be crossing that finish line.

I did it I am back for round 2 of the 12WBT

I missed it..LOL so have signed up for round 2.

Just checked out the forum and it is going nuts a lot more WA people this time so that is so great.

Today I started my mini workouts for my hip.
Did 15mins on treadmill at 6km got my heart rate up then jumped on the cross trainer for 7 mins. Will keep it at this for a week as well as some swimming. Then increase it a bit if my hip not hurting.

Food today was ok but not great, tomorrow I am going to be more organized so I am not looking around and picking.

I ordered my t-shirt from 12wbt today as well I hope it gets here in time for Sydney.

Train hard, when you dig deep inside yourself you will find a strength you did not know you had and you will feel amazing.

not good day.

Today was not great. But could of been lot worse.

Food wise I would be over on my cals, but did not go insane
just enjoyed to much good healthy food.
Had light brunch out with hubby
then later a yummy lunch at a Mediterranean place was so nice.

Went to doctors after this and got told my hip is going to take
2 to 6 weeks to heal and that I am not allowed to do any workouts till it has.
Apart from walking and swimming. So left there and rang V she is so great, we worked out how to work around this and all was good.

But when I got home I was a bit down and did not feel like cooking the lamb cutlets that we where ment to have for dinner so got a pizza out the freezer and cooked that up, I had 2 pieces with salad it was thin crust so not good but not as bad as could of been, before would of eat a whole one with garlic bread and it would of been thick crust or even cheese burst or something like that. I know that it does not make it right but I just wanted to relax and feel sorry for myself for a bit.

Tomorrow I will be back on track.

Plan for tomorrow.

Design a workout weights only for top part of body that I can do sitting down on the machines and not use my hip at all. If I cant do cardio then I am going to do a load of toning and build some muscles to burn more fat.

Aim to go for a walk as well.

Food wise

Nice breakfast of poached egg with light sausage with herbs that I found and beans
(320 cal)
Lunch got Chicken salad sandwiches 270cals
Lamb that was ment to have tonight.

Enjoy your workouts and I will not let this get me off track I have just had my journey switch tracks for now.

made doc appointment.

Quick update today.

Food was good as planed, but did have 1 norti thing
a glass of bourbon with diet coke, with hubby only one and did count it in my cals

Hubby flew back in today from work.
I was good food was great as planed.
Did not work out at all today again as hip still soar but got a doctors appointment for tomorrow, so hopefully she will tell me something. I will be doing something in the morning if soar a swim is the plan if ok a class but no running...

Plan for tomorrow.

breakfast slice same as this morning as have some left over. 260 cals

Lunch out with hubby not sure what having yet but will be good.

Dinner Pork chops from 12wbt meal ideas with veg 300cals

snacks if lunch very good other wise no snacks as lunch with use them up.

Enjoy your workout and remember you need to aim higher to improve your fitness and challenge yourself.

Not planed but Rest Day.

Well today was ok, my hip still hurting but not bad, till I try and workout.
So got up this morning and just thought nope as I was still soar even after nights sleep which I was not doing before, did plan to workout tonight but got held up in traffic and was running late for class, so then I thought I might just take a break today and rest my hip to see if I can get it to stop hurting. If not I am going to go to the doctor on Friday to see whats happening with it.

Food was good today stayed on plan.

Nothing else major happen, I am fighting in my head with weather I am make excesses for not working out with my hip... I hate pump class but know its great for my body so was quick to say yes lets have night off class, and this morning I wanted to run but I know that will hurt it more so did not workout when I could of done a dvd or something even thought about going for swim after work as that no impact, but just couldn't be bothered. I know that's not good cant even think why feeling this way.
Hubby home tomorrow and need to clean up a bit as I love having the house great when he comes home.

I got a great deal today, I got a new treadmill from a friend that is so great it does all the incline stuff and has a larger deck plate, mine is just one from kmart that was great to start with but now I getting into more running its just not cutting it that is what I was doing when I hurt my hip. So looking forward to picking that up and pushing my running to the next level, when my hip heals.

Anyway tomorrows plan -

Workout Kimax in morning

Food
Tasha's breaky slice from 12wbt cook a mean task 263cals

Pumpkin soup (cooking that in slow cooker over night)with roll 330cals

Nats Lasagna 266

plus snacks

Good day....:)

Well today was a lot better, no kids fights...LOL

Started the morning with kimax (boxing) it made my hip hurt but got it done.
Then packed my lunch and off to work.

After work got to catch up with a friend I have not seen for just over 2 years,
she walked into the pub where we where meeting and just stood there looking around, I had to laugh, I stood up and she was shocked, she said the only way she knew it was me was from my facebook photo, LOL last time I seen her was before I even looked at losing weight. It was a great feeling.

Came home and had my dinner Trish’s Not So Naughty Nachos from the 12wbt meal ideas they where so yummy.

So had a great day, also check on my water today.

Tomorrow's plan.

Workout or DVD in the morning
and pump class after work.

Food -

Breakfast Oats with banana (300cals)
Lunch left over Nacho meat and salad. 300cals
Dinner Chicken with veg. (350cals)
plus snacks


Remember you workout to enjoy the life you are making.

aaAARRRHHHH Kids!!!!! Red flags !!!!

OK my day was going great till I got home....

Did my workout this morning all good
food was good to, even drank my 2lts of water.

But got home and got changed then the two girls starting fighting over crap...
and I had to step in now house all worked up, and I not going to gym as I think they will kill each other while I am away.

I cant wait till they all moved out... they are 21 and almost 19 so that's not to mean thing to say. So now I am in a crap mood and just very pissed off with it all.

Will go cook my dinner and have a coffee I think.

Tomorrow plan.

Work out in morning kimax at 6am.

Cereal and yogurt 250cals

Chicken and salad sandwich 300cals

Low fat nacho's 350cals

plus snacks and coffee.

Last Day of 12WBT :( but not the end.

Well it is all over, 12WBT final day today.

Workouts done for today as planed.

Combat class was great, had this lady in front of me who had the most amazing definition in her shoulders that I have ever seen, every time I wanted to slow down I would look at her and push myself harder...LOL I made a game of trying to keep up with her in the workout. But it was great as I got to push myself to do 2 new steps that I had not tried properly before, one being the pulse steps in the middle of the steps I could never seem to get it right before, more like a run, but got it today, was very happy, and the other was the jump kick, I normally just did a front kick but today pushed it a bit more and did it, I was trying not to laugh in the class and the teacher even gave me a questioning type look to make sure I was ok, but all I could think off was if I didnt get my foot down in time I would be on my butt on the floor, so every kick I was just waiting to end up on the floor but I did not fall and was very please to now be able to get the jump kick and work to getting better at it.

After that I went and completed my fitness test for the end of the 12wbt.

I have made a great improvement in all areas.

1km run at start 8.57mins - today 6.55 difference of 2.02mins
pushups was 36 to 43 but did move my arms wider and out more and better form in these to amounts so I am very happy with that, next is to get on my toes but have to wait for heal to be back to normal before can do that. (seems to be taking ages to get better)
ab stage 1 now 2 just but got there.
Wall sit 34 sec to 1.43
and sit and reach +8 now +16

so all round improvement and weight wise I lost 12.3kg short of my 15kg goal but I know I did not push myself as much as I could in the workout side of this, so I am happy with that and will push myself more in the next 12 weeks.

Just have to do my after photo now, which I will not be posting on here as its in my nickers and bra so not putting it in a public blog...LOL

Food today is good

Egg white omelet 270cals

Wholemeal roll with tomato soup 222cals

Oven baked salmon with baked tomatoes and beans 300cals

plus snacks and coffee.

Water - 2 lts.


I did read something great on one of the blog of the other girls on the 12WBT that I loved so I am going to do this as well, her idea was to every month beginning from today, plan to set a milestone event to celebrate where she come from and where she going. I love it so I am going to give some thought to what I can do and list it on here, so if you think of anything post a comment and give me some ideas.

I know next month I got the Sydney trip and bridge climb so that is that month covered.


Tomorrows aim.

Workout in morning at park with V (if not raining) other wise Biggest looser DVD

Workout in afternoon pump class.

Chat to you all tomorrow night. Workout hard and don't just believe you can do it, know that you can and Just Do It no excuses.

Smash it Saturday.

Today is my smash it day, and we are meant to redo our triathlon for the end of the 12wbt but yesterday while running on my treadmill I hurt my hip, not sure what I have done but it just kept getting more painful as I was running, and kept hurting all day.

When I got up this morning it was hurting but not to bad, so I sat in the bed thinking should I go, I am tired and it will make my hip worse...EXCUSE ALERT!!! But then I dragged myself up and thought I have to do this, got changed put some nurophen (sp?) gel on my hip and headed off to the gym JFDI... in my head.

Completed my spin class then stuffed went up and did my kimax class ( like boxing ) but the running warm up was quite painful on my hip so I decided not to do my run today as I think it will do some damage and hold me up longer.

Rest of today I will be getting out the menus and also the meals I got from 12wbt make a meal task and setting up my weeks eating plan then go do some shopping.
Clean the house and then see how I feel might do some time of the cross trainer but will see.

Tomorrows plan -

Body Combat Class and Final Fitness Test for end of 12wbt
Take measurements and end photo for 12wbt.
not sure on food yet so will let you know.

Till next time.... Train Hard and remember you can do more than you think you can!!!!!

Here We Go - hope I dont ramble to much.

I am a very new to blogging, but this is something I have wanted to do and keep doing for a while, I have just finished (well tomorrow is last day) of round 1 of Michelle Bridges 12WBT program, www.12wbt.com check it out if you want to get your body and head in the right shape and transform your life, its a fantastic program.

Anyway I am not able to sign up for round 2 at this point so wanted to start this blog to keep me accountable to myself and others, I will post my thoughts and feelings good and bad, my plan to achieve my goals.

Last night I went over to V house, V is my friend I meet on 12wbt amazing lady, and my training partner when we can get together, we have committed to focus and push each other to hit our goals. I have 18kg left to lose for my goal before the end of August to make my Fab and Forty Mark.

Very quick run down as I am sure there will be heaps of background as we go on, regarding where and why my head is in some place or another.

Feb 09 I started my weight loss track at 135.5kg very very unfit and unhealthy. The thought of having to lose 65 - 70kg was so huge, and so impossible back then....
jump forward to now and I have loss 48kg a lot fitter and my Doctor is very happy to report I am very healthy, she is always smiling when I go in for my check up. (Yes I am doing this correctly and see her every 4-6 weeks to check in)

OK so right now my head is in a good I can do this place. Me and V are going to smash it over the next few months and come out the other end new people.

I plan to keep to the workout style table I was doing on the 12wbt, and keep my food clean and good. Working around the 1200 cal mark that I have been using.

So working out 6 days a week broken up into
2 toning days - pump class style
4 cardio days with one being a smash it day where I work my butt off...
1 day off.

I will try and post every day on here what my plan is for the next day and then update in following post how I went and if changed what I was thinking or what changed. Maybe I can find a pattern for when I drop off.

I will also be sms V every day to make sure I keep going, I have given her permission to kick my butt if I don't check in for more than 2 days, and I give all of you when are following the same...LOL
So join me if you wish... and we can get FAB, FIT and FANTASTIC together.....